1. You get the benefit of skiving off work on Friday afternoons long after you’ve finished at mosque. Unless you work for a fellow Muslim, in which case, you’ll be lucky to get fifteen minutes.
2. You get to play practical Al-Qaeda jokes on the conservative old couple sitting next to you on the plane.
3. You can name your kid Osama and take him to the park, saying his name at least five times per minute. Have fun watching all the non-Muslims clear out.
4. If you go out in traditional Muslim clothing, you will always have plenty of personal space, no matter how busy your surroundings are.
5. You can invite a non-Muslim colleague from work to your house for supper and tell your mother / wife to make the curry diabolically hot.
6. If you send your toddler to a pre-school where there are lots of non-Muslims (especially teachers), teach him to scream at the top of his voice “Infidel!” When the teacher gets around to complaining, you can look all innocent, shake your head and say, “Haha! I just don’t know where he picks these silly things up!”
7. You can brush up on your Arabic alphabet and write all your work notes in your own Arabic secret code. Anybody that works with you will be totally screwed.
8. If one of your colleagues does something requiring disciplinary action, suggest at the next office meeting that he / she should be stoned in order to save his / her immortal soul. The looks you’ll get will be worth it.
9. Make friends with a Jewish person and then tell everyone at work one week that you are converting to Judaism, then the next week tell everyone that your friend is converting to Islam. Then send everyone an email announcing that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is over.
10. Go to the office Christmas party and suggest that all the guys go to Teazers afterwards. When you arrive, pass all the strippers full-body burkas and ask them to put them on for the sake of your soul. Then ask for the Halaal menu.
0 comments:
Post a Comment